HS Detention with the Varsity Head Football Coach

As fate would have it, this HS class clown and sophomore football player had the misfortune of serving his d-hall with the Head Football Coach............one-of-the toughest and strongest hombres to ever set foot inside the hallowed halls of our high school. Allow me to reminisce on this memorable high school experience.

As was not unusual for a high school sophomore boy I was a bit hyperactive and frequently found my teachers a little less supportive of my silly-as-a-goose behavior and at the time I thought - it's like, as soon as they turn 25, they forget what it's like to be a rambunctious high school STUDENT.

Well then, this one fall Kodak moment one of my teachers didn't appreciate my silliness and elected to give me a "detention". Sure, at the moment, I thought the teacher was a prune and got to thinking that it was rather cool to receive one because I got the laughs that I wanted out-of-it and besides what harm could it be, d-hall was proctored by "The Rabbit" Sr. Francis Teresa.

Unknowns to me at the time that the last laugh was on me, for d-hall was to be served the afternoon of my JV football game and that the varsity head football coach had made provisions for me to actually play in the game, which meant I wouldn't have to go to d-hall that afternoon; you could imagine my little snicker.......BUT, I didn't know about his arrangement that he had made with the impeccable "Rabbit", that the next day, I was to serve my detention personally with the meanest hombre this side of the Alleghenies, Uh!Oh!

Instead of giving you the blow-by-blow (literally) narrative of his heartfelt attention that he gave us (yes, there was two of us) may I just skip the build-up and just get to the whimpering and the agony. To start the afternoon, we both got two highly spirited and pain wrenching swats each IN THE BUFF; yes, bare butts and spread eagle against the lockers - followed by two hundred push-ups, two hundred sit-ups, twenty laps around the football field and The Gauntlet" (human tackling machine) involving all of the members of our football team.....brutal, but hey, I was suppose to be a tough football player, remember. Okay, hold onto your shirts tails the ride isn't over yet; after football practice and showers the last of the Mohicans followed........two more robust swats each of our wet skinny little butts. The last swat was like "the shot that was heard around the world", I then lost my manhood aswell as my grip that I had on the locker as my head bounced off the locker (imagine a basketball bouncing off the pavement); incidentally, the dent, that was caused by my head bouncing off of the locker, still remains and is now folklore and the legend of many fine stories.

Needless to say that after that d-hall, I had two uniquely RED cheeks, so much so that for nearly a week I took a pillow to school to sit on to cushion by behind. Incidentally, in English composition glass I wrote about these very same "Two Rosey Cheeks" and received the best grade I had received all that year for this inspirational composition.

The moral of this story is "so Mothers, tell your children to get to know who is proctoring d-hall before they get to thinking that it's cool to get a detention".

Thank you for allowing me to share this story with you.