IRISH TOASTS
Since I've given up the 'drink' for lent, it's a lot of fun watching the drunkers drink or the drinkers drunk. I was given dispensation from a priest on Friday to drink in honor of St. Pat that night, but nay. I'm sticking to me guns. I swear, on me St. Brigid's Cross, I will not be this dry on a St. Patrick's Day again, or at least till 2160. I've finally been able to hear, and comprehend the whimsical toasts made by the Michael O'Brian Band and the Singing McGuire Brothers. So, I wrote a few down on me napkin. By the way, do you know how to make Irish toast? Just let the bread sit out, and when it turns green....
Here's to our wives and girlfriends:
May they never meet!
May your glass be ever full.
May the roof over your head be always strong.
And may you be in heaven half an hour before the devil knows you're dead.
One of me personal favorites....MAY THE WIND BE ALWAYS AT YOUR BACK!
HERE'S TO BEING SINGLE...DRINKING DOUBLE AND SEEING TRIPLE!
That the tap may be open when it rusts!
than to spend tonight like there's no money!
Comments
O'more O'toasts
"Here's to the women who use us and abuse us. May they continue to do so!"
"I drink to your health when I'm with you,
I drink to your health when I'm alone,
I drink to your health so often,
I'm starting to worry about my own!"
"May you die in bed at 95, shot by a jealous spouse"
"Here's to women's kisses,
and to whiskey, amber clear;
Not as sweet as a woman's kiss,
but a darn sight more sincere"
"There are many good reasons for drinking,
One has just entered my head.
If a man doesn't drink when he's living,
How in the hell can he drink when he's dead?"
"When we drink, we get drunk.
When we get drunk, we fall asleep.
When we fall asleep, we commit no sin.
When we commit no sin, we go to heaven.
So, let's all get drunk, and go to heaven!"
No Fair...
This place is Rated G, and none of my toasts would be appropriate! BUT, here goes...
If I could only think it.
So fill your glass to anything,
And, thank the Lord, I'll drink it.
***********************************
Here's to a temperance supper,
With water in glasses tall,
And coffee and tea to end with,
And me not there at all.
toastmaster
if i ever need a toast meister or roast meister, Mikey will be my first choice. Cory G.
O'Jokes, O'Prayers, O'brother
"Here's to the love of a beautiful maid, and the love of a staunch true man, the love of a baby unafraid have all existed since time began. But there is one love, the love of all loves, even greater than that of a mother...that's the tender, passionate undying love of one drunken slob for another!"
"May you be a half an hour in heaven before the devil knows you're dead!"
BEER PRAYER:
Our lager, who art in barrels, hallowed be thy drink. Thy will be drunk, I will be drunk, at home as it is in the tavern. And give us this day our foamy head, and forgive us our spillages as we forgive those who spill against us. And lead us not into incarceration for thine is the beer, the bitter, the lager, Bar-men.
Q: What's green and falls apart?
A: A LEPER-CHAUN
Cousin Mike